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Should a Friend or Family Member Help Plan Your Wedding?

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Are you wanting to get married at a remote location? What about getting married in or near a city where you don’t live? Some folks call this an elopement.

Other engaged couples who want to create an intimate wedding invite each other’s parents to attend or two sets of best friends. This can provide the best ambience for an intimate wedding getaway.

Another approach that is still small and intimate but starts the marriage with a more adventurous flair is to choose a location where the bride or groom has been to once or twice. Other couple’s have friends who have recently been married away from their home town by choosing one of the popular locations that are heavily advertised for destination weddings. For many understandable reasons, mountain and island getaways have proven the most common remote wedding locations. Keep in mind that island getaways will cost a bit more due to airfare, and most often a mountain getaway is more reasonable for those with a budget.

Identifying Your Wedding Assistant

Help Planning with WeddingA responsible relative (mother or sister, usually) or even a best friend can be quite helpful in this sometimes complicated effort of planning a long distance wedding. Having either a friend act as a wedding planner or a competent assistant tends to ease the stress of planning a wedding near or away from home.

Rule of thumb: Planning a destination wedding can be more stressful when you are doing all the planning than having your marriage ceremony in your hometown where the majority of the wedding party, parents, and friends currently live. Still, the extra effort to plan a wedding in a location like the islands or a scenic mountain retreat will more than pay for itself in costs. Remember, having a wedding where you live usually becomes larger and larger as the guest list keeps growing. A wedding with 100 people (an average to smaller sized wedding) easily exceeds $15,000 in a major metropolitan area.

If you follow some of the following tips, you will add enjoyment to the wedding planning process by reducing the stress on yourself and your helper if you haven’t decided on a professional wedding planner.

If your helper is a friend odds are he or she is not a professional wedding planner. This is okay, but remember to help you friend and stay involved in the process.

Don’t expect them to do everything. Moreover, don’t expect to be on the phone with them every day either. If you feel their degree of responsiveness is not what you desire, gently take on more of the planning yourself in a nice and grateful way or consider finding another person to help with some of the wedding details and tasks. Treasure your relationship with your helper. He or she should be able to give you room in deciding alternatives and direction.

If you’re getting married in a popular wedding location, search the name of the city or town and the service you desire through your favorite internet search engine.

Next begin to survey the websites that appeal to you. Send off an email to each and check their responsiveness. Remember, responsiveness is the key in long distance wedding planning. If they don’t respond or don’t respond in a timely manner, try another vendor. Often quality wedding planners will also list a toll free phone number so you can chat over the details of their wedding locations and packages.

Since many companies in this day and age have to wade through so much email even though they advertise through a website it is always a good idea to just pick up the phone and call. Plus you will get a personal feeling about their services through a one on one conversation.

Also, a good long distance planner will have resources for all facets of the wedding. You won’t need to order a local telephone book through the destination’s phone company although you could and cut costs by doing some of the leg work.

Article written by Rev. Kenny Giordano of Associated Ministers Toll free: (866) 846-3487

About the Author

Curtis McCoscoCurtis McCosco lives on the island of Kauai, Hawaii with his wife of over 20 years, KatRama Brooks. Together they own and operate Rainbow Weddings on Kauai. A professional wedding photographer for over 15 years, he is also a video documentarian, writer, and masseur. A practicing Buddhist, he also does Qigong on a daily basis.View all posts by Curtis McCosco

  1. Timory McDonald
    Timory McDonald05-31-2012

    Wonderful job doing so many posts!

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