To get in the mood, crank up the stereo, pour a glass of wine (or whatever) and get online where you can link up to page after page of sample quotations from famous authors (some of whom you’ll actually recognize). You will also find many from people you’ve never heard of such as:

Marriage is an Authenic weaving together of families, of two souls with their individual fates and destinies, of time and eternity–everyday life married to the timeless mysteries of the soul.” – Thomas Moore

“Love is the heart of marriage and trust the vehicle to carry two souls.” Curtis McCosco

You may find, after reading several of these wedding quotes, that some inspirational thoughts of your own come to mind. Jot them down right there next to the great and famous writer’s quotes. They’ll serve as a setting for the literary gems you’re looking to include.

If you’re good at telling jokes, add some humor (not recommended for vows), but be reserved in telling funny stories at the groom’s expense. Here is one from Ogden Nash:

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
Whenever you’re right, shut up.”

A couple more to add a little humor to the event are:

When you meet someone who can cook and do housework–don’t hesitate a minute–marry him.” – Unknown

“Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.” – Joseph Barth

Including just a bit of advice in a wedding speech or toast can be appropriate, as long as you can attribute it to someone else, such as:

To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” Germaine Greer

“Love is a butterfly, which when pursued is just beyond your grasp, but if you will sit down quietly it may alight upon you.” – Nathaniel Hawthorne

Romance, love and commitment, however, are the central themes in wedding quotes you will want to use for vows, toasts and speeches. Be sure to mix any quotes in with your own heart felt sentiments and original words. Don’t worry too much about how articulate you are in comparison to the great writers you may be quoting, true sincerity is the essence of good writing.

Wedding quotes are like the cherry on top! This example from Robert Herrick is a sweet choice:

A heart as soft, a heart as kind,
A heart as sound and free
As in the whole world thou canst find
That heart I’ll give to thee.”

The great joy in your heart for your best friend, the bride or groom, is being overwhelmed with dread. A USA Today poll revealed the average person fears public speaking above all other fears including death.

You need a free wedding speech because who can afford to hire someone to write something pithy and funny and cheap. So you search the internet and find a link that promises free wedding speeches only to discover they provide you with a few tantalizing tips then try to sell you a program or book. Well, unless you want to go into the business of giving these little speeches at all manner of functions, a prospect more daunting than becoming a professional bounty hunter, you’ll pass on buying the software.

Easing the Fear of Making a Wedding Speech

Still, you have to write that speech. Here is the ancient secret wisdom passed down through the ages about great public speaking: if you truly care about your subject, your audience will be intrigued and captured by your passion. Thus, it’s easy to deliver a memorable wedding speech because you truly care about the two people, your friends, who just got married. This is your once in a lifetime opportunity to publicly express your affection for the bride and groom.

The first rule is to keep your speech short, five to ten minutes max. See, it’s getting easier already. Most importantly, write out the speech ahead of time with any anecdote or funny story you want to include. Maybe even practice it in front of friends. Being prepared can be very comforting when the big day comes. You don’t have to bring the written speech with you to the reception, it’s just that writing it will help you to remember later.

Start by introducing yourself and explaining your relationship to the bride and groom, perhaps recalling a favorite memory of time spent together. It’s perfectly all right to be nervous, emotional, even cry a bit, you are safe among friends who really want to hear what you have to say. The wedding speeches can set the mood for the rest of the reception so be yourself and let people know how you’ve seen the bride and groom change for the better since they met. This is not the time to tell negative embarrassing stories; wait until after dinner when everyone has had a few drinks.

Finally, acknowledge each family, wish for everyone’s good health, wax eloquent about the beauty of the bride, kid the groom a bit about how lucky he is to marry this great woman and ask everyone to raise their glasses to the newlyweds. Hold your own glass straight out from the shoulder to the objects of your toast, say a final word and take a drink.

That’s it! Now you can relax having done your duty.

Through the ages the greatest writers have found that to set free the love bursting forth in their heart, poetry is the perfect medium of conveyance. At once lyrical and fanciful, highly personal and universal, inspirational and confessional, the poetry of love speaks truths to a bride and groom difficult to express in any other way.

Wedding poems may read by the groom to the bride or by the bride to the groom. A dear friend, a parent, a minister or perhaps a child may make gifts of poems, spoken on the occasion or presented as gifts. A page of deeply personal poetic thoughts, whether original or found in a book, written out on special paper in an elegant envelope make a gift to be remembered and cherished forever.

Writing Wedding Poetry

Writing your own poetry to be read as part of your vows is one of the most romantic things you can possibly do to bring a tear of love and happiness to the cheek of your beloved. This is not as difficult to do as you might think. Remember that you really have an audience of just one person, and that person loves you more than any other in the whole world. Let your heart sing on the page for this special day and don’t worry about it being great literature. It’s from you and that’s all that counts.

The wedding vows and ceremony are poetry in themselves, often from a bible passage, the book “Conversations With God”, one of Shakespeare’s sonnets, or even the ancient Persian mystical poet Rumi.

Here’s a sample of one of Rumi’s poems for a marriage:

May these nuptials be blessed for us, may this marriage be blessed for us,
May it be ever like milk and sugar, this marriage like wine and halvah.
May this marriage be blessed with leaves and fruits like the date tree;
May this marriage be laughing forever, today,tomorrow, like the houris of paradise.
May this marriage be the sign of compassion and the approval of happiness here and hereafter;
May this marriage be fair of fame, fair of face and fair of omen as the moon in the azure sky.
I have fallen silent for words cannot describe how the spirit has mingled with this marriage.

Whatever their source, gifts of beautiful, inspirational romantic wedding poems are some of the most perfect gifts you can receive on your special day.

Let the music die down and hush the joyous conversations of all participants, then perhaps take a page from the extensive poetry of love written by the bard of Avalon, Shakespeare, (Sonnet 116):

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.”

Remember that traditional wedding readings should be considered a gift of thoughts from your heart to the blessed couple on their special day.

Write some words of your own as an introduction to make this a personal acknowledgment of the beauty surrounding the wedding ceremony. Then you may want to read from Kahlil Gibran:

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise on your lips.”

This is such a special day in the life of everyone who loves this beautiful couple, you may want to read from the bible, if it would be appropriate.

Some passages to choose from might include:

• Genesis 2:18-24
• Ruth 4
• Proverbs 5:15-19
• Proverbs 18:22
• Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
• Matthew 19:5-6
• Mark 10:6-9
• John 2:1-11
• I Corinthians 7
• I Corinthians 11:3
• I Corinthians 11:8-9
• I Corinthians 13:1-13
• II Corinthians 6:14
• Ephesians 5:22-33
• Colossians 3:18-19
• Hebrews 13:4
• I Peter 3:1-7
• Revelation 19:7-9

Wedding readings can set a beautiful romantic mood for the special wedding day, so choose carefully and select something that reflects what is in your heart.

When sharing that album of photos with friends, family, maybe children and, someday, grandchildren, these songs live in memory and can spark your recall of wonderful details that otherwise may fade. The tune you play for that first magical dance will bring you back to the feelings of love and hope and joy that were in the air that great day.

Getting Ideas for Your Wedding Song

Just think back to a season when your favorite song was on every station on the radio or a great album by your favorite artist was playing in the background when that special someone became the love of your life, now your bride or groom. Is there a song that belongs just to the two of you, a song that was playing when those first words of love and commitment were shared in whispers between you? That for sure is a must-play tune for your reception party.

Songs of love are as old as civilization itself. Egyptian and Sumerian love poems have been found that are over 3,500 years old. These beautiful lyrics would have been accompanied by a stringed instrument like a lyre and speak a familiar language of romance and sensuality we can recognize in our most current pop love tunes.

Barry White could sing the lyrics from this Sumerian love song circa 2000 BCE:

My dearest, my dearest,

my dearest, my darling,

My darling, my honey of her mother,

My fruitful vine, my honey-sweet,

My honey-mouthed of her mother!

Wedding Songs & Music at the Reception

Today we have literally thousands of great wedding songs, from Elvis to Pachelbel’s canon in D major, Sinatra to Vince Gill and Ode To Joy. If you are having a big reception after the wedding, ask your wedding planner if they know of any good bands in your area who could cover a list of songs you choose ahead of time.

If you’ll be using a DJ for dance music, you can send a list to see if they have the albums in their collection. For most bands and DJ’s who do a lot of weddings, this is a familiar part of their services. You can also go to your local music store or order on the internet the perfect music to suit your needs. You also may want to provide your videographer with CDs of favorite songs to include in your video.

On that special day when so much planning has gone into making the bridal gown or dress perfect and the groom dressed handsomely, make sure you have wedding songs that will live in your memories forever.

Examples of Wedding Toasts

Uncle Ernie, sloshing drink in hand, may feel compelled to elaborate on stories the groom might prefer left unsaid, at least before newly expanded family and friends. But the wedding toaster is spared that possible embarrassment by the customary need for brevity in presentation. Another advantage to giving a brief toast is that it is perfectly acceptable to quote part or all of it from some great writer long dead.

For example:

There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.” — Homer, Odyssey, ninth century B.C.

Inspirational poems are great, however humor is what may make your toast transcend the twenty-minute barrier of how long anyone remembers what you said.

MARRIAGE, n.:

The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.” — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1911

“I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up.” — Barbara Bush, first lady, 1989

Wedding Toast Protocol

When your time comes, stand up, be free, and be bold. There is some protocol, however, and since your friendship with the bride and groom is why they asked you to contribute with a toast, it’s good policy to acknowledge the beauty of the bride, profundity of the ceremony, bless the health of all, and make sure everyone has a full glass of anything but coffee, tea, or water.

Hold your glass in your right hand straight toward whomever you’re toasting, say what’s in your heart, and have all clink glasses before they drink. According to Old English tradition, the clink dispels evil spirits and the glass in your right hand assures all that you’ll not pull a dagger from that hand and create some sort of mayhem. Also, as toaster, especially if you’re the groom or his father, must drink first lest the guests suspect the wine may be poisoned. These Old English knew how to hold a wedding reception; heavily armed and saturated with drink and suspicion!

Just remember, this day is about love, especially your love for the bride and groom, the objects of your toast. What you feel and what you say can set the tone of the celebration and endow this diverse collection of family and friends with a uniting feeling of love for the blessed newlyweds.

Timing of Renewal Ceremonies

After a life-time of love and devotion a couple may want to have their marriage blessed with a second wedding ceremony for renewal of vows. Renewal ceremonies are usually planned around anniversary dates but they can be held anytime.

If a marriage has been rocky but with a lot of work and understanding problems began eventually to fade away – this too is a good  reason to renew your vows, as a symbolic act of forgiveness and leaving the past behind.  There are few rules for the renewal ceremony except that the couple be legally married.

Planning Your Renewal Vow Ceremony

Renewal services can be large, small, elaborate or intimate with as many or few guess as you like. They can be held at your home, church, a park, the beach or on a fabulous island such as Hawaii. Family and friends are a key ingredients and children and grandchildren welcome guests of honor. You may want to ask guests that attended your wedding to be witnesses for the renewal of vows ceremony. Or, you can ask your children or the grandkids to participate by lighting the unity candles. They will be pleased to be a part of your ceremony and express their love in such a beautiful way.

Although some couples love the whoopla of dressing up, many people like the ceremony to be more casual. A reception is optional and most couples will want to have refreshments of some kind served if not a brunch or sit-down dinner. Your budget and circumstances will guide you in your final selection. Remember, no one will be disappointed with your choice – you’ve earned the right to have the ceremony you want.

You may also want to exchange rings again and can use your original rings, new rings purchased for the anniversary or a second set to add to the original ones. There are no hard and fast rules so feel free to plan something special or highly meaningful to include in your ceremony.

Your vows are the highlight of the celebration so let your feelings guide you. Be as emotional or private as you’d like. Some couples surprise each other by writing their own vows and reading them to each other for the first time at the service. Other couples write poems to each other or write their renewal vows together. If this is too personal, you can always tell the person officiating that you would like to use the standard renewal vows for the occasion.

Gift Giving Options and Ideas

For those couples who are financially well-off, renewal celebrations often turn into extravagant occasions that may involve an expense paid family reunion at a vacation resort or a cruise. Couples who were not able to afford a big wedding with all the trimmings, may want to satisfy that desire even late in life, by planning a special renewal of vows ceremony to make up for the small budget wedding.

Gift-giving is optional for guests and family, but many couples will mention their favorite charity on the invitations in lieu of gifts for themselves. The couple will look forward to receiving a thank you note from the charity for gifts of money made on their behalf. If the children want to get a special gift for their parents besides, a corsage for the bride and a boutonniere for the groom would be special.

Whatever choices you decide on, remember that you have many options for your renewal of vows ceremony and can follow your dreams wherever they take you.

Rainbow Weddings and Celebrations specializes in planning Kauai Weddings, Vow Renewals and Vows of Commitment in beautiful Hawaiian settings. They offer wedding planning packages in Hawaii and custom wedding services for any budget.

Wedding Commitments are Nourished with Personal Vows

A couple truly begins crafting their vows in private intimate moments long before their formal engagement and wedding. These romantic whisperings and conversations are the basis for a growing trust and love that reveal how each sees the other and articulate their hopes for an everlasting relationship. Such shared understandings and aspirations are the heart and soul of marriage, and blossom into an enduring commitment when nourished by the couple sharing what they cherish in each other with the world.

History of Wedding Vows

Wedding vows haven’t always been up to the bride and groom. The word wedding derives from an Old English word “wedd,” which means to wager or to redeem a pledge. Grooms would have been required to acknowledge living arrangements and property divisions, usually made between the bride’s and groom’s families, out loud before the typically heavily armed gathering of relatives and townspeople.

Our modern decree by the minister that should anyone object to this marriage or forever hold your piece is a symbolic vestige of what may have been, in older times, an important declaration that may have sparked objections. The tradition of a bride standing to the groom’s left, his heart side, comes from the very practical need in such circumstances of having the right sword arm free in case there should arise a dispute about the deal. Today we have lawyers and prenuptial agreements, so maybe progress has been made.

Cultures around the world have unique imperatives regarding what constitutes proper wedding vows. Brokers, yentas, or matchmakers arrange many weddings for financial, political, or social status purposes. The bartering may have gone on for years before the engagement, commitment, and wedding ceremony. The vows uttered during the ceremony then take on the role of an important social contract.

The Real Purpose of Sharing Vows

More and more couples are meeting on the Internet, whether through a service matching potential brides from Asia or Eastern Europe or through on-line dating chat rooms where romantically oriented people can meet in cyberspace and get to know each other before arranging a first date. However a couple meets, dates, goes through a courtship, or just loves being with each other, wedding vows can reflect and reinforce the most private commitments that mean so much. Whether the vows are a time-honored tradition, a sacred promise before God, a lifetime commitment pledge, an inspiration to open hearts to a deeper trust, or an expression of what meaning a beloved has brought to the relationship, the purpose of wedding vows is to express the depth of love and commitment to all who will listen.

The best preparation is to write down what you want to say. Start by writing a few notes on a page, and progress to writing your speech out in full. Then practice it, literally. Maybe get a friend to sit there and listen to your delivery. You may have a fantasy that you want to just be spontaneous and unrehearsed; well that is what you will sound like unless you take this seriously enough to prepare. The old adage “you never get a second chance to make a first impression” certainly applies here.

Your delivery also can benefit from a few pointers and some rehearsal. First of all, don’t drink too much before your wedding speech, tempting as that may be to calm your nerves.

Secondly, slow down. Let your points sink in and, if you include a little humor, wait for the laughs. Breathe, sip some water, and take your time. When you’re on center stage, stand with your weight evenly on both feet and gaze out upon the audience for just a moment before you begin. If you have to hold a written copy of your speech, that’s all right, just look up and make eye contact with the collective group of guests more than you look down at the paper. Think about the audience while you deliver in order to engage their attention. You’ll come off more sincere and at ease. Remember, this is a performance, but it is not an act.

3 Types of Wedding Speeches

The Bridgegroom Shares his Wedding Speech

Generally, there are three kinds of wedding speeches delivered at the reception; bride’s father’s speech, bridegroom’s speech, and best man’s speech. Today’s weddings tend to be less formal, so it is perfectly acceptable for the bride, or maid of honor, or any of the parents to stand up and speak. Often the best man acts as a toastmaster, and he will be inclined to begin with the father of the bride, but if that is not you, try to go next, so you can enjoy the rest of the celebration.

The bridegroom’s speech needs to be the most gracious and generally will be the last for the day. It’s appropriate during his speech to acknowledge his parents for their love and care raising him. Also, the groom can take this opportunity to thank everyone who helped pay for the celebration (without actually mentioning money) and all who worked to make the event a success. This will include bridesmaids, ushers, and whoever helped decorate, cook or set up tables. At this time he can also remember all those who could not attend or close family members who may have passed away.

Final advice, wedding speeches are most effective if they are personal, light hearted, even funny and short.

Wedding ceremonies have at least one factor in common, they must be performed by a minister, officiate or judge licensed by the state in order to make them legally binding. Commitment ceremonies in many states are not legally binding, which gives everyone involved the liberty to choose to honor traditional customs associated with wedding ceremonies or completely make up their own rituals.

Commitment ceremonies are most often associated with same gender couples. However, many opposite gender couples who have various reasons for not wanting to legally “tie the knot” are turning to commitment ceremonies to affirm their dedication and love for each other.

January 2012 – Hawaii Honors Civil Unions

Hawaii lawmakers approved a bill Wednesday February 23, 2011 to allow civil unions for same-sex couples, marking an end to what the governor called an “emotional process” for a longtime battleground in the gay rights movement.

The legislation provides that equal rights and responsibilities of married couples in Hawaii be afforded to thousands of non-married couples in the state – including same-sex couples. The law takes effect January 1, 2012.

The Human Rights Campaign and Equality Hawaii have worked closely together since 2008 to build both public and legislative support for civil unions. Through this joint effort, tens of thousands of phone calls, emails, postcards, petitions and handwritten letters have been sent to legislators urging them to approve this legislation.

I have always believed that civil unions respect our diversity, protect people’s privacy, and reinforce our core values of equality and aloha.”

For me, this bill represents equal rights for all the people of Hawaii. I appreciate all the time and effort invested by those who shared their thoughts and concerns regarding civil unions in Hawaii.” — Governor Neil Abercrombie.

Hawaii joins thirteen other states plus Washington, D.C. with laws providing an expansive form of state-level relationship recognition for same-sex couples. Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont and Washington D.C. provide marriage to same-sex couples under state law. New York and Maryland recognize out-of-jurisdiction same-sex marriages, but do not provide marriage licenses to same-sex couples in state. Five other states—California, Nevada, New Jersey, Oregon, and Washington —provide same-sex couples with access to almost all of the state level benefits and responsibilities of marriage, through either civil unions or domestic partnerships.

Recently Hawaii legislation approved a bill that provides equal rights and responsibilities of married couples in Hawaii to thousands of non-married couples in the state – including same-sex couples. The law takes effect January 1, 2012.

The Exchange of Vows

The central element of both marriage and commitment ceremonies is the exchange of vows. The nature of these vows should be the guiding principle for the theme or atmosphere of the rest of the celebration. Some couple’s relationship lends itself to having a big party for their “going public”. Others may want a formal wedding-like event in a church or chapel complete with tuxedo’s and gowns, rice thrown and champagne corks popping. Very popular these days is a simple ceremony with the couple, an officiate who need not be licensed and may be just a trusted friend, and a few close relatives and friends.

The power of the commitment ceremony, however it is conducted, comes from making mutual declarations of love, commitment and loyalty spoken aloud in front of a third party (the minister) or the couple’s extended social group. These public vows stem from oaths and promises made privately within the intimacy of the couples precious realizations of the depths of their love. The courage and beauty of these public commitments are the true cause for the celebration surrounding this ceremony.

When planning a commitment ceremony, start with the vows and expand outward as far as is comfortable. If the relationship is based on lots of socializing or sports activity, then the vows and ceremony need to include at least some of the people who share that kind of fun. On the other hand, the partners may be very private people, perhaps basing their relationship on shared spiritual values or mutual support in dealing with personal difficulties.

Whatever the motivation, there is no wrong way to plan a commitment ceremony. Whatever satisfies the needs of each person in the union is the right way to do it.